Motivating Mojo

Watching last night's "Biggest Loser", I heard Jillian ask a contestant how he deals with things. He said, "Reactionary. With all the bad that's happened, it's the only way. Nothing has gone as I've planned." Jillian quickly responded, "Defense. You're on the defense." Talk about hitting home. Growing up playing basketball and softball, I won "Defensive Player of the Year" every single year. I was taught "Defense wins championships. Defense is the best offense." Not only did I pride myself on my defensive ability, I took it to the next level. Only last night did it hit me just how long I have lived by that motto. Losing my dad at age 11 and being left with an abusive family, I lived defensively. I had to for my survival. If they couldn't get to me, they couldn't beat me down. It explained why I was constantly striving to be the best, to not be vulnerable or let anyone hurt me. It literally permeated every a...

Today marks Day 3 of trying to cut back on sugar. I was reminded Saturday night, after a day of eating complete crap, just how badly sugar affects me. It makes me a raging bitch if I may put it bluntly. After a nasty fight with my husband and joints so swollen that it hurt to move, I realized (FINALLY) that I didn't just need to cut back, I had to cut back or face an early grave. The chemicals in my brain go haywire when I overload on sugar and seeing my loving husband completely exasperated was exactly what I needed. Sunday, I went to Louisville for the Justin Timberlake concert with my sister-in-law. I didn't worry about counting calories or getting my 10k steps in - I just focused on having fun and appreciating the moment. We spent the whole day looking at Christmas lights and shopping. It was probably close to 4 p.m. before I realized we hadn't eaten. Typically when I counted calories, I'd have been obsessed with my next meal, worried about my intake. But Sunda...

I was supposed to run the Jingle Bell 5k this a.m. Ironically, I woke up with joint pain so severe that I couldn't get out of bed at a normal time, much less walk a 5k. Once again, I failed. With the recent snowstorm, I haven't moved with purpose in several weeks. I have no desire to workout. Why? I see no point. No matter what I do, the scale doesn't budge any direction but up. I'm not sure where to go from here, but I know this: I am lost. 

Today was a NSV. I have taken the past two days as rest days, due to a medical issue and really, really did not want to workout. In fact, I slept til 10 a.m., which is completely unheard of for me, but I also slept through the entire night for the first time in years. Man, it was great! I had planned on going to the 7:15 Body Pump class, but obviously that did not happen. I was deep in slumber at that time. When I woke up, I felt defeated because I missed the class and was ready to declare today another "rest day." But I knew it wasn't really a rest day...more like a "failure" or "lazy" day.  So, I logged onto Twitter and my friend Toni tweeted about what an awesome workout she just had at the YMCA. I felt like she was speaking directly to me, so I grabbed my phone and headed out. Today, I did 60 min on the elliptical and had planned on going home. Instead, I went over to the weight machines and played with some new ones. I ended up lifting more o...

I'm so over the scale. In fact, I'm thisclose to tossing it out completely. Why? It's ridiculous. For the past two weeks, I have worked out, eaten with my calorie limit, eliminated diet soda, increased my weight intake and guess what? I "gained" nine pounds on the scale. Now, I know I did NOT eat 31,500 extra calories. It just didn't happen. So why is the scale showing my heaviest weight ever? My guesses are as follows:  Low batteries - I've had it for awhile & even my husband has complained about it, but I just assumed his late-night Oreo addiction was the issue. Defective - To back this up, I placed two 8-lb weights on it. It registered "zero". I also found that by moving it to different parts of my bathroom floor, I can gain/lose 15 lbs in a day. My Endometriosis - This is the most likely cause of the "gain." With three miscarriages in the past 2 years, I am sure my hormones are completely out of whack. Unfortunately, my ne...

Yeah, yeah, I know. It's been awhile. How many times do I say that when I post? I need to get more frequent with posts, but life gets in the way.  While the guys have "No Shave November," I am doing my own version: "No Soda November." Corny, yes but it is necessary. I am addicted to diet soda, namely Diet Mountain Dew. While on vacation, I only drank water and didn't have a single headache. (If you know me at all,  you know what a huge achievement this is.) So why did I start drinking them when I returned? Habit, I suppose. Soon after, my headaches returned with a vengeance, as did my muscle pain. Well, last week was the wake-up call I needed. My father-in-law had a massive heart attack and has been in ICU. As part of his heart healthy program, he is required to give up Coke. He assumed it was because of the caffeine, but the cardiologist pointed out to him that it is really because of the sodium in Coke. Intrigued, I asked him about Diet Mountain Dew. ...

Last night, I had a huge NSV. I was able to walk 3 miles at a decent pace for the first time in nearly a year. Most people would look at my "results" and think, "Big deal." Guess what? It IS a big deal to me and I no longer give a crap what anyone thinks. My achilles/foot issues have been a stumbling block for me, but I think I have finally turned a corner on them. In fact, I was able to log 10,000 steps! Today, I was supposed to meet with my new trainer. I know, I know...I said I wasn't going to do that again. But the people pleaser in me caved and made an appointment. For some reason, I wanted to be one of the "cool, fit kids" and prove my worth. Yet, I woke up this a.m. with some foot pain. My appointment time rolled around and I skipped it. Instead, I popped in a Leslie Sansone DVD and walked 5 miles in my living room, where no one cared how much I sweat or what I looked like.   When I finished, I sent my trainer a message, telling ...