This post has nothing to do with fitness unless you want to talk mental fitness. It has everything to do with growing as a person and having a huge breakthrough moment. For far too long, I have lived with a spirit of fear: fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy, fear of judgement, etc. Most don't know this, but I have been working with a life coach and she has made me aware of the fact that the negative thoughts are "mind crack", addicting thoughts that keep us in a pattern of self-doubt and make us immobile. She has constantly told me to go where I fear the most because that is where the answers lie. As cheesy as it sounds, it is 100% true.
For me, going back to my hometown has been a huge source of anxiety. I feared that if I went back, all my old wounds would resurface and I would revert to the person I have worked SO hard to overcome. Well, I recently reactivated my KY real estate license, so I can sell on both sides of the river and grow my business. Part of this process meant I had to go back to my hometown, where so much pain affected my life for so many years. Pain that made me bitter and cliche'. Pain that I learned to ignore. I was afraid if I crossed the bridge into Kentucky, I would be greeted with sneering, judgmental faces quick to remind me that I was the girl who never really "fit". Guess what? I was wrong.
This week, I have been greeted by so many friendly faces and hugs from old friends, encouraging me to stop by more often. Everywhere I have gone, I have been greeted with a smile and a "Welcome home." I overheard a few friends, one of whom I always thought viewed me as a charity project, tell my broker, "I always knew Missy was destined for greatness. She was always so smart and driven. She beat the odds and I have loved her my entire life." WHOA! Does this mean that the shy, self-doubting, insecure little girl never really existed, but was in my head the entire time? It absolutely does. I assumed others viewed me the way I viewed myself. Guess what? I was wrong.
I guess the whole point of this blog is to encourage others to face their fears. Go where the pain is. Go where you're uncomfortable. That's where the answers are. Does everyone have to love me? Nope. I love myself again and that is enough.