I am no longer focused on the numbers. For instance, I went to the gym this morning. How many calories did I burn? I have no idea. I just moved. I walked on the treadmill for about 20 min and biked for 30 min. I left the heart rate monitor and BodyFit at home. I simply focused on moving. The only number that matters to me right now is 30. My goal is to move 30 min/day every single day. I am throwing the scale away. I am not counting calories. I am not setting up unrealistic goals. I am simply cutting myself some slack and moving.
Next week, I am doing the New Years Day 5k here. My husband agreed to do it with me, which is a good thing. Will I be fast? No. With my shin/achilles pain, I simply want to finish. I don't care what my time is. I just want to move more and this is a good way to do it.
I firmly believe health starts in our minds. When I arrived home from the gym, I made myself a smoothie & it exploded all over my counter. When cleaning the mess, I realized I have WAY too many vitamins there. I have become so reliant on them and convinced that I'm not getting enough nutrients that I probably made myself sick. I threw away a bunch of them and felt a sense of freedom when I did it.
I've been reading Joyce Meyer's "Approval Addiction" and it has hammered home to me that I am an addict. Not to drugs or alcohol, but to approval. I still seek out the approval I never received as a child. I use food to numb the pain and hide behind my unhealthy behaviors as a way of avoiding life. Because I feel like I am never going to get that approval I so earnestly seek, I avoid things. Guess what? NO MORE. I am a child of the Almighty. He chose me as HIS child. If we were meant to earn approval, we'd be called 'achievers' instead of 'believers.' It's with His love and support that I am beating the mind games.