Skip to main content

Defense Wins Ball Games

Watching last night's "Biggest Loser", I heard Jillian ask a contestant how he deals with things. He said, "Reactionary. With all the bad that's happened, it's the only way. Nothing has gone as I've planned." Jillian quickly responded, "Defense. You're on the defense." Talk about hitting home.

Growing up playing basketball and softball, I won "Defensive Player of the Year" every single year. I was taught "Defense wins championships. Defense is the best offense." Not only did I pride myself on my defensive ability, I took it to the next level. Only last night did it hit me just how long I have lived by that motto. Losing my dad at age 11 and being left with an abusive family, I lived defensively. I had to for my survival. If they couldn't get to me, they couldn't beat me down. It explained why I was constantly striving to be the best, to not be vulnerable or let anyone hurt me. It literally permeated every aspect of my life.

I felt like I was awakened when I heard Jillian finally put a name to what has eaten at me my whole life. Now, it's time to go on the offensive. Take the power back. Get back in the game. How do I do that? I do what makes ME smile. I focus on being happy and in the moment.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Day One

Today was day one of getting up at 5 a.m. to meet with my trainer. I was actually up early, fearful I would oversleep. I ended up getting to the gym early & was able to squeeze in some cardio, which was good for my achilles. In the early stages, I am not sure how long it take to warmup, drive there, etc so I figured I'd set the tone right from day one by being early.  After meeting Eli, my trainer, we went over all the standard contract stuff and took some measurements. Talk about a wake-up call. I am not going to post them here 'cause quite frankly, it is no one's business but mine. However, it made me see just how much 3 D&Cs and an achilles injury in the past 18 months has really affected my body. Putting it down on paper made it real and it motivated me to say "Never again." Getting to the gym early was easier than I thought. Yes, it's day one and I'm sure that will change, but I used to do it every single day when I was on the radio. I ...

Reflections & Realizations

After weeks of not working out and traveling, I stepped on the scale Monday to my highest weight ever. Granted a lot of it is indeed fluid, but still, it was a sign that I needed to get back to focusing on my health. After busting my head wide open and battling the concussion, I was lazy. I was lazy in not just my weight loss battle, but all aspects of my life. The doctor warned me that I might have some slight depression/mind fog from the concussion, but I just shrugged it off. Well, Monday it dawned on me that he was right and it was time to crack down on my mind crack. Yesterday, I was getting ready to head to the gym and sign up with my new trainer. (Yeah I dropped the other one. We just weren't clicking and he was way too focused on the scale. Being a recovered anorexic, I just couldn't deal with that.) I was walking out the door, realizing I had a huge sense of dread and anxiety inside me, just waiting to bust out. In the past, I would have ignored those feelings and...

Arthritis 5k Fail

I was supposed to run the Jingle Bell 5k this a.m. Ironically, I woke up with joint pain so severe that I couldn't get out of bed at a normal time, much less walk a 5k. Once again, I failed. With the recent snowstorm, I haven't moved with purpose in several weeks. I have no desire to workout. Why? I see no point. No matter what I do, the scale doesn't budge any direction but up. I'm not sure where to go from here, but I know this: I am lost.